


Born to live

by GalexisSpringbreeze



Category: One Piece
Genre: Cora-san is not dead, Fluffy, Gen, I refuse to acknowledge that, Memories, Sad Law, Songfic, black feathers, demons of the past, guardian angel (?), lonely, remembering the past, someone give him a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalexisSpringbreeze/pseuds/GalexisSpringbreeze
Summary: It’s hard for me, to live without youTo give simply everything - every day and every timeSo often I think back to what has beenOn every dearly loved but gone dayI imagine that you stay to me.And walk beside me, on every of my ways





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ceroji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceroji/gifts).



> A translation of my german oneshot, because I love Niallcy very much and want her to be able to read my shitty writing.
> 
> ______________
> 
> The song this is based on is "Geboren um zu leben" by Unheilig. I recommend to check it out if you have time.
> 
> Here is the link to the official YouTube video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-L3wj_HaMQ

 

_It’s hard for me, to live without you_

_To give simply everything - every day and every time_

_So often I think back to what has been_

_On every dearly loved but gone day_

_I imagine that you stay to me._

_And walk beside me, on every of my ways_

 

It was dark, dark and uncomfortably cold when he opened his eyes on this morning. He hadn’t slept much, not exactly unusual for him. His heavy eyebags have been a trademark sign for years. But in this night it has been different. He hadn’t stayed up willingly, hadn’t killed the sleepyness with unhealthy amounts of coffee and black tea, to watch over an experiment or a patient in critical condition. He hadn’t read one of his complicated books about medicine. It wasn’t even because of the unfamiliar and threatening surroundings that he couldn’t sleep. It was different. So simple, so easy.

…

It was a date. The sixth of October. 06.10.

Just some numbers. Simple numbers. It wasn’t the season, nor did anything bad happened on this day in the past.

It was his birthday. The 26th to be precise. And instead of celebrating it on his submarine with a cup of hot cocoa and a good book, maybe also a nap outside with Bepo, he was stranded here on this destroyed, poisoned, life threatening island. Not even the company was enjoyable. A crazy, fanatic and decieving scientist, the strange and unfathomable assistant/secretary, a bunch of mutated children and an even bigger bunch of completely incompetent idiots of underlings.

Not really enjoyable company for a birthday party. There wouldn’t be a slightly burned and too sweet cake, no colourful spotted decoration, no gratulations from his beaming crew, no hug from his fluffy first mate. Well, at least not for him. His crew would celebrate, no doubt – with overly sweet cake and patterned balloons – and even though Bepo would be sad he would try his hardest to make up a strong front to encourage everyone.

They would be a sobbing mess by the end of the day.

 

He missed his crew. This chaotic bunch of social outcasts that only under his lead became disciplined and showed the deadly potential they possessed.

But still… his longing for the familiar place that was his home and his family, was only a small part of the agony that kept his nightly rest away.

Today he would fulfill his 26th year of life. Just like Cora-san. He had been 26 when he died, no, when he _gave up_ his live to save a child, when he saved _him._ Just 26 years.

Today he would be 26 and he felt sick when he thought how young he still was, too young to loose his life. He would be 26 but he still felt young and stupid in comparison to Cora-san back then.

Cora-san… he had such a calm aura, an inner peace and acceptance that he never had truly understood. He was so confident, so sure in everything he did. And he always, always smiled for him, the small sick child, too weak to be on his own. Cora-san had offered all his time, all his strength, all his efforts, all his love… and lastly he had offered his life too.

He was sure he would never be able to do the same thing, not now, not in the future. If he didn’t even fully grasp why Cora-san did all that for _him,_ how would he ever be able to do that for someone else? Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he should be grateful for the present of his life, or if he should curse himself for everything that had happened. His rational mind would tell him then, that he didn’t cause any of the events, that he wasn’t at fault and that he couldn’t have changed anything. It would remind him, that Cora-san saved him, because he wanted to. That he should respect his decision and be grateful.

But that small voice nagging at the back of his mind would never truly shut up.

 

Cora-san was ready to give his life for him, and lost it by the hand of his “brother“, because he had a heart to great and to good for his own self. He had never reached his goal, and that just because he, Law, had hesitated, hadn’t followed Cora-sans order immediatedly, hadn’t trusted in the man who had been there for him all this time, who had been shot and hurt for his, HIS sake. He had hesitated, and that moment had decided over his whole life.

But he wouldn’t let Cora-san down for a second time. He would fulfill his goal for him, even if it might be late, with a different method, but he would certainly reach this goal, for Cora-san. He wouldn’t hesitate a second time, he would pull the trigger if he got the chance. He would stop Doflaming and if it would be the last thing he did.

Even if it was hard to wake up in the morning, to face another day in this place, where he always had to be on guard, where he had to plan every step carefully, because one mistep could mean instant death. Even if he knew he would very possibly die. It was a suicide mission, after all…

 

But always, when the depression, when the sadness, the fear crept up und send shivers down his spine, he thought back to these days. Every moment, no matter how unpleasant it might have been, had become a beloved memory. Every moment back than had been filled with affection and love towards him, not because he was useful or had a special worth, or because of a sense of duty towards him. In fact, he had been a nuisance, unfriendly, ill, worth less than the clothes he wore. The world had seen him as a monster, that should have been killed already, but this person, this loving and gentle person had loved him.

Cora-san had given him everything that a child truly needs – a home, even though they were travelling, nutrient and filling food, even though it was burned or strangely seasoned sometimes, and unconditional love, regardless of all the troubles he made – and so much more. The desire to live, the promise to be healed, hope for a better future, the prospect of never being alone again.

He hadn’t only healed his body, but also his heart and soul. Cora-san had taken that broken spirit full of anger, hatred, despair and insanity and fixed it with gentle and loving hands, filled the void with hope, love, the smallest bit of joy, and life – the start for a new personality.

 

Even though he was a pirate, he had a significantly lesser bounty than could’ve been possible with his abilitys. What he had was earned through carefully planned and even more careful carried out moves. The „Rocky Port Case“ had been one of them. Every single action is made to infiltrate the marine or Doflamingo, but always so seemingly random and accidently that they were declared a coincidence.

Casualties, hurt or even killed civilists didn’t happen, and even though he scared the shit out of those unfortunate souls that happened to experience his „Room“, they were never hurt the slightest bit and didn’t feel any pain through the process. Wherever possible he would avoid the use of violence and rather operate with cunning tactics and clever tricks to reach his goals. His reputation as an inscrutable and sadistic psychopath were a useful asset to hide his actually peaceful methods.

His crew members had a significanly low bounty as well, pretty much all of his members weren’t even known, since they travelled underwater and never acted in public without their trademark overalls and various kinds of headgear. Should they ever desire to leave the pirate life behind, all they had to do was remove the overall and no one would ever recognize them.

He wanted to prove to Cora-san that he was no longer a monster – and would never be again. Even if the whole world saw him in a different way – a cold and unscrupulous rookie, hunting for the One Piece and the title of the pirate king – Cora-san would understand. He would know, what was hiding behind the mask.

Law wasn’t religious, not anymore, but he remembered what the sister had told them back then.He hoped Cora-san was in a better place now. Maybe he was an angel now. He deserved it, since he had been already an angel on this tainted world. He hoped he had soft, black wings.

Sometimes he wished, Cora-san could see him – the days, when he reached a new point on his way to destroy Doflamingo and to fulfill Cora-sans goal. Or he imagined, that Cora-san was with him, right next to him, invisible, but always in reach – and suddenly he would see a shadow in the corner of his view, but when he would whirl around, there would be nothing.

From time to time, he felt as if he had a guardian angel. When a plan worked by a hairs length, or just because of sheer luck or pure coincidence, when he stumbled over unexpectedly helpful things, information or persons… than he felt the urge to turn around, to fall into the warm embrace that he remembered as clear as the burning cold on that day when he lost it forever.

And then there were the nights. In some of them he was the sick child again. Other times he was his usual self. And in a few nights he was just an observer. Some of the dreams were good, beautiful, full of happy memories, carefree and lighthearted. Some of them were bad, awful, cold, filled with fear, hurt, loss and despair.

But there was one thing all of this dreams had in common: black, soft feathers, that tickled his face, warmth, that enveloped him, a strangely wonderful smile, and he would wake up shivering, with burning eyes and cheeks.

He didn’t cry, when he was awake. Even if he jerked awake from the most horrible and cruel memories of his past, and his eyes were filled with unshed tears, threatening close to spill, not a single one of them ever started their journey down his cheeks. Even though he could feel the telltale burn of the salty liquid on his skin, it was never really damp. It felt like back then, when his mother would brush the tears from his face, because he scraped his knee on his hunt after the frogs. It was a strange feeling, wistful, longing and oddly calming.

In those nights he wouldn’t go back to sleep. Buried in the fluffiest and comfiest blankets of the whole grandline he would stare into nothingness and recall all his favourite memories, to chase away the cold from the outside as well as the one deep inside.

In those nights he longed the most for Cora-sans presence. That he would sit beside him, between all the fluffy pillows and blankets, from which none of them resembled the tickling sensation of the black feathers back then. That he would just calm him with his soothing presence. And sometimes, just sometimes he would fell asleep with the faint tickling on his skin that he just cant forget.

 

_I think of so many things, ever since you’ve been gone_

_for you have shown me, how precious life is_

Law liked the calm. It was a part of his saviour, and a fundamental part that he survived at all.

He had always been a calm person. Ambitious, eager to learn, but still calm in character. After all what happened back then he reverted even more into this characteristics. He enjoyed to indulge himself in a good book, or just watching their course in the control room. He liked to be the calm observer.

But he also liked chaos – to some extent. It was ever so amusing to watch, a welcome break in his daily routine – as far as you could have anything like a routine in the middle of the grandline. Atleast they travelled under water, so they were hidden from most happenings at the surface.

His crew maintained a pleasant balance. They were by far not normal, and every single one of them had their flaws. But they would never doubt his authority, and every order of his would be fulfilled. He had worked very hard for their unconditional trust, never gave them reason to doubt his competence or leadership.

No member under his command had ever lost their life. In the few cases he had lost a patient, it had never been because of negligence on his part. If he lost someone, it had been because even he couldn’t help them anymore. In the last five years, he hadn’t lost a single one.

His crew set their unwavering trust in him, and they had never regretted this. His scheming saved them from unnecessary fights, losses, injuries. They were very well trained, coordinated to harmonize in perfect team work. Every one of them knew basic technics in close combat as well as diverse martial arts. Some of them, like his first mate, had mastered them to perfection. Some specialized in weapons for close combat, others preferred to fight from a distance.

Every single one of them was able to stand his own until help arrived. That was their secret to success. They were a team. Perfect harmony in combat as well as in their work on the submarine. They _knew_ when one of them needed help, and they _never_ hesitated even one second to rush to aid. There were no suicide missions, no heroic single courses. Their unity was their strength.

Usually, they fought after one basic principle: Disarm, Disable, Disappear. And that as fast as possible. No unnecessary risks, no provocations, ignoring everything as long as it wasn’t of direct use for the crew and their plans.

He himself spent most of his time to check all the facts threefold, check every person, every place, every circumstance and event that could happen, every single detail that could have influence on the outcome of their plans. He never trusted one information. He needed three independent ones, at least, and even then he would have a plan b.

He never ever wanted to feel this helplessness again, that had tortured him back then in this godddamn wooden chest, just because he had trusted blindly. Admittedly, he was a child back then, but he had lost the last thing that held any meaning to him on this planet. He had lost his home, his provider, and even worse: his last emotional support. He was this close to succumbing to madness.

He would never let a loved one die because of something _he_ could have prevented. Their lifes were to precious. Every life was precious. Even his. It was the last thing that Cora-san had left behind for him

 

_We were born to live, with the wonders of this time_

_Never to be forgotten, for all eternity_

_We were born to live, for that one moment_

_Because each of us has felt, how precious life is_

 

 

Admittedly, it was a probably bit hasty to jump into an alliance with the strawhat, but if he thought about it, long and careful pans would have been useless anyway. Strawhat was, and would probably forever be, unpredictable. Well, except his burning determination to protect his friends, his nakama.

Aside from that minor issue, it seemed to be a pretty good idea to forge an alliance with him. His crew possessed an impressive fighting power, and with each of these highly intriguing individuals united they were without doubt able to make the impossible happen. Well, maybe the fact that they _were unpredictable_ was the key to bring down Doflamingo.

Doflamingo was a tactican, and strong as well. Adding his status as a shichibukai, his involvement with the marines, the world government, the tenryuubito, the underground and the 4 emperors, his army of loyal followers and his rulership as loved and respected king of Dressrosa, he was truly invincible. His whole live seemed to be a carefully planned and controlled puppet show on a giant spider web. Full of traps and backdoors and confusing mindgames.

Now, thanks to the strawhats his „vacation“ on Punk Hazard had been much shorter than he thougt. He was in Dressrosa already, well, in Doflamingos hands and in a less than favourable condition, and their plan had failed, more or less, just as he had feared deep down. But their mission was still possible to succeed. They had gotten unexpected allys, actually, a lot of unexpected allys, where they had come from he had no idea, how the strawhat had managed this, he had also no idea, but he certainly wouldn’t complain. Strawhat-ya was a wonder, he was the personification of wonder and Law was sure he would never be able to truly understand the full extent of the unbelievable luck that aided this kid. But right now he was more than satisfied with simply being grateful for the aid of said wonder.

 

_At this moment you are close to me again_

_Like on that lovely day in the past_

In this exact moment he was trying to make a mental report of his injuries. Scratches, cuts, strains and more bruises and bullets in his upper body than he could possibly count.

The pain was so damn distracting… He hadn’t felt this much pain since back then, when his whole existence had hurt so much. Well, aside from that time when Vergo had literally tortured his heart.

 

And still, even though the pain was overwhelming and more was very likely to come, since he was right here in Doflamingos palace, chained with kairoseki to the throne of hearts – Cora-sans former seat – he was so grateful to be alive. Grateful, that he endured everything until now, to be finally in reach of his archenemy, the person he hated the most on this whole planet, to be _finally_ close enough to crush him. He will put an end to all his cruelty and stop him from ruining more peoples lifes, _his_ life will finally have a purpose. He will fullfill Cora-sans dream, his wish.

 

In this moment, in pain similar to the one Cora-san had to endure back then, placed on his former seat, face to face with his murderer, he felt himself closer to Cora-san than at any time during the past 13 years. He felt as if he only needed to reach out his hands and he could touch the soft black feathers. He was so grateful to be alive. His live was not worthless. It was precious. He could do something. He could fullfill a dream. His life was not meaningless.

 

_It still hurts to create new space again,_

_To let something new happen with a good feeling._

 

Doflamingo had lost. Not his life, but the fight for his kingdom and his freedom. He would stay on the deepest level in Impel Down for the rest of his live, surrounded by criminals of his league, and far far away from any of his usual luxury.

It was good this way.

It was satisfying to know that Doflamingo would suffer fort he rest of his life. And he himself didn’t need to move a single finger for it. Everything would be handled by the marines. Which reminded him, that the mightiest forces oft he world had conspired against the former shichibukai. The marines as well as the world government would be _very_ careful to never let Doflamingo slip through their hands again. And Kaido would only wait to get his revenge if he ever came free. Should he ever escape, it would be an escape forever. He would never be able to stop, to rest, to trust. No one would help, but a lot would be after his head.

It would actually be better for him to stay in prison.

It was good this way.

But…

What should he do now? He hadn’t expected to end the Dressrosa affair and live to tell the tale, not even mentioning the fact that he was mostly healthy and still free. How would he live his life?

Sure, for a start he would accompany the strawhat to Zou, where he would reunite with his crew. Then there would surely follow the battle with Kaido. But… which goal should he follow now? He would never be the pirate king, that was a sure thing.

Even if he would try to betray the trust strawhat-ya had in him, and use his room to shamble him out of their quarters in the middle of the night, slice him to pieces and dump him in the ocean… something would go wrong. Strawhat-ya had more luck than should have been possible, he could never compete against it. Aside from the fact that there still was a whole crew of very dangerous people that wouldn’t hesitate one single second to end his life in the most painful possible way to avenge his captain. Hell, he was sure they would be able to revive him, just to kill him all over again. If he would _try_ to betray strawhat-ya. Not to speak about the consequences, should he somehow unexpectedly succeed. It would certainly be very gruesome. He was strangely intrigued by the thought which methods the different crewmembers would use. Maybe he could indulge into the topic with Nico-ya at a later time.

Aside from the sheer impossibility of execution, he didn’t even want to send strawhat-ya to the afterworld. He was way to grateful for his help. And to be honest, he was sure the afterworld, should there be something like that, wouldn’t be ready for something like the strawhat. Not even THIS world was ready for the strawhat. Also, Cora-san would be somewhere around. He didn’t want to disturb his peace.

Not that he even wanted to become the pirate king. It only served as a nice distraction for the rest of the world. No one would have expected his actual goal.

But now, that he fulfilled Cora-sans wish, it was time to find his own dream.

 

_It is my wish to dream my dreams again_

_To look forward to a future without regret_

 

But what should that be? He was… excited. Right now he really wanted to see his his crew again. Then they‘d had to fight an Emperor. If he thought about the strawhats magnetic tendencies to attract mighty enemys, he wouldn’t be surprised if the other three followed soon after...

Somehow he felt as if his future would be in close proximity with the strawhat. Since the strawhat was very talented to put himself and everyone around into the most ridicilous, as well as the most dangerous situations, he would see if that was more good than bad.

But the strawhats had a reputation of being real professionals in getting themselves out of the misery, and that more victorious, stronger and determined than ever before.

Maybe it was for the best to stick to this alliance. He would get to see the world, just like Cora-san had planned for the both of them. Lots of interesting places to explore and landscapes to wander along. And in the end, when the strawhat had reached Raftel, the island where the One Piece was said to be found… well… it _was_ said to be a giant old treasure… maybe there would be some ineresting coins for his collection?

 

* * *

 

 

The blackhaired man leans on the rail, his elbows propped up and his upper body slightly hunched over. The sea breeze whirls through his hair, pulls at the strands and lets the collar of his shirt flutter. Even though he wears a shortsleeved shirt, and it isn’t exactly sunny outside, he doesn’t feel cold. The opposite actually, he feels quite comfortably warm, as if he was wrapped in a warm blanket. He enjoys the short moment of peace, of calm. In this moment he is completely alone with himself, and the world seems to rotate a bit slower.

The sea is calm, just a bit water laps at their ship, and the sun throws glittering sparks on the greenish blue surface. Some soft, feathery clouds spread over the sky, and a pair of seagulls plays catch between them. Unnoticed, even by himself, a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, gently, as if not to disturb his peace. A single, salty drop, wanders down the milk coffee coloured skin. If sea water or tear doesn’t matter, since he doesn’t even notice it and the breeze soon drys the trail away.

A light pressure, almost unnoticeable, traces his right arm and he abruptly jerks away from the view of the ocean. Immediately he reaches for the injured limb, gingerly touches the edge of the bandage. It only hurts in his memory, because everything he feels now is gratefulness and relief, that he only had to pay this relateviley small price in order to reach his goal. A gentle, tickling sensation ghosts over his uncoverd arms and his left cheek, like soft feathers from a long time ago. A waft of cigarette smoke breezes across, suddenly it’s quiet, so unbearably quiet, and for this one moment he is so sure, there, right behind him, stands the so long and so painful missed person. He can’t move, like he’s paralyzed, to afraid to turn around, to afraid he is mistaken. But then the wind picks up, and the sea laps at the wood, and suddenly he realizes he is way more afraid to miss this one chance and he would be gone.

 

There is indeed a tall, blonde man in front of him, nonchalantly taking a deep drag of the cigarette between his slim fingers, but not the one he wanted so desperately. He isn’t nearly tall enough, and he is way more graceful than Cora-san could have ever been. Also he can’t help but note the distinct lack of burnt feathers in the air. The blonde exhales a stream of smoke, opens his eyes and fixates him.

„Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. If you wan’t something, you better be early before the shitty rubber of a captain swallows everything.“

If he had noticed the strange melancholy around their ally, he didn’t show it. He simply turned and dissapeared into the warmer galley to put the finishing touches on their dinner. Law stays where he is, tries to understand the situation that just happened. It was… strange, and he felt less stressed, more relaxed, but at the same time more exhausted than before. He shivered. The pleasant warmth that had enveloped him was gone, and the sea breeze seemed noticeably harsher now.

He pulls at his shirt, aiming to close it, but he pauses when a small, black feather flutters through his view. Without even meaning to, he reaches for it, and as soon as he holds it between his fingertips, he gazes up to the sky, scanning for the seagulls from earlier, but they’re long gone.

A sudden gush of wind tugs at the small feather, and wretches it from his grip. Dancing in the air, the wind carries it from the ship to the open water.

For a moment, his eyes follow the movement, then he turns to the galley. A delicious smell wafts through the slightly opened door, and the warm light seems more and more welcoming in the cold wind outside. But he hesitates, his eyes closed and his lips pressed together. He curses and whips around, hurrying the few steps to the railing, a room already circling under his hand. But of course the feather is gone. His hand sinks, the room vanishing.

„Tch!“

He turns back to the galley, just to see the devil child attempting to enter. The ravenette looks at him, the ever present, allknowing smile on her lips. She doesn’t say anything, but when he steps into the light, one of her hands blooms on his shoulder, plucks something from his hat and gently places it in his palm. It’s a small, black feather.

„It would be a shame if that would drop into cook-sans lovely prepared food, wouldn’t it, Torao-kun?“

He doesn’t answer, but his shoulders relax when her hands vanish and if his eyes soften, maybe it wasn’t because of the warm light in the galley they step into. Instantly, the whole attention of the cook is on the woman, and in a rush of hearts and compliments, he leads her to her seat.

She smiles and humors the smitten blonde, but she notices the carefulness with which he wraps the feather in a piece of paper and tucks it safely in his pocket.

 

_I see a meaning (to life), ever since you've been gone_

_for you have shown me, how precious my life is_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everything was readable and I didn't fuck up the time forms. I hate time forms. time forms hate me. It's an abusive relationship between us two and I'm not even sure who abuses who.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading. If you spot mistakes, please don't hesitate to hit me up. I'll be very grateful and I don't bite. often.


End file.
